Sending money back home: The remnants of colonialism linger within our values

Photo: The African courrier

I was scrolling through TikTok and came across a video by @toritalking who talked about sending money back home and how its not sustainable. She made some really good points as to why our generation and generations to come feel the way that they do when it comes to sending money back home. My focus in this discussion will be tackling the sense of dependency family members back home have on their family members living abroad. There are two focal points that I will be touching on. The first point is the superiority complex that family members back home have in being able to say that they family members abroad and simply feeling not having to work based on that fact. The second point is one the major effects colonialism on Africa and how that thought process has infiltrated African belief systems and values. What standards are we upholding and by whose standards will we continue to uphold?

Superiority Complex

Photo: google images

Being able to say that “My (family member) who lives in America sent me money” is the pride and joy of family members back home. In that same breath, the reason why our parents were breaking their backs to provide for their family members back home is that many suffered from imposter syndrome. Many of them felt obligated to do so at their own detriment. Many of them were the “one” who money was collected for, for them to come to the country their living in abroad. Therefore, they will always “owe” those family members who didn’t give with pure intentions. No one leaves their country and way of living if they had “opportunities” where they were or do, they?

Family members back home do not realize how easy their life and how peaceful their life truly is. Especially women. In Mali, the percentage of men is higher than the percentage of women. (Think outside of western standards, we like it that way). Women in Mali will have 1 to 2 even 3 housemaids who help them with daily tasks from cooking to cleaning to helping with the kids. That is the societal norm. This societal norm applies to all women regardless of a family’s economic status/income. The family members back home do not understand the concept of having bills due every month. Paying for groceries and basic necessities to stay healthy and alive. The difference between the worries of family members back home and family members are abroad is time and societal priorities. These are the nuances I briefly mentioned in my last post. In America, family members have to worry about being able to afford basic necessities. While family members back home worry about the attire for next family function be a wedding, baby shower etc. The reason they are able to worry about these things is because they have time to do so. Waking up to messages and calls on WhatsApp on the weekends from family members back home gives me anxiety most of the time.

Time for a quick story ! This happened to me in my late teens and I am not so sure that I am over it but I definitely learned my lesson. I will never forget receiving a call from a family member asking me to help them start their business. The person had a business idea that was relatable and very much needed in Mali. I believed in it and really envisioned intellectual and financial independence/ success for the person. After all, the reason why I was willing to help is that the business would result in this individual being financially independent and stable. Long story short, I went on vacation and visited this person. I was anticipating a visit to their business’ location and overall, just excited to see how their idea came to life. Needless to say, there was no business. In fact, I was met with confusion. The individual in question pretended to not have known what I was speaking of. This encounter taught me a valuable lesson. The naïve version of me is no longer present nor do I want it to be. I grew up from that experience but it still hurts. I do have a rule of thumb when it comes to sending money: Can I actually afford to give this money? Have I fulfilled my duties towards my immediate family and the poor? Am I doing this for the sake of Allah or expecting something in return? Have I purified my intentions? Is this necessary? Do what you can for who you can but not at your expense because you will resent them when you had the power to make the decision that would have resulted in a different outcome.

What are the standards that we’re trying to uphold and live by?

There was a period in colonialism and neo-colonialism known as westernization of African countries. Merriam webster defines westernization as the compulsory conversion to or adoption of western European traditions or techniques. The effect of westernization is very apparent in Africa. Two of the ways westernization is in full effect in Mali is that French is the national language in Mali when it should be Bambara and the ideology of what a good job is. People have shied away from agriculture work and everyone wants to work in an office. There are some people that I know of who go to school, get a degree and sit in front of their house every afternoon making atteye as if office jobs are the only jobs. The value that is put on office jobs as opposed to every other job that makes the African continent what it is is dispiriting. The reason why westernization was forced upon Africans was for the simple fact that colonizers wanted to keep Africans busy trying to adapt a new lifestyle while they steal resources from Africa to undermine and destabilize the lifestyle that Africans were living in order to be dependent on them. Westernization has succeeded and is continue to succeed. I ask again, what are the standards we are upholding and to whose standards do we want to live by? There is a lot of unlearning that needs to be done. If you are a family member back home reading this, you are loved. Dare to be different and value your societal standards and do not be intellectual lazy. Our values are our values and will no longer be compromised. To the family member living abroad, it’s time for us to re-evaluate our way of life as well and what values we want to live by. Do not be harsh with our family members back home as we all have a lot of unlearning to do. I feel a resurgence in dignity and integrity in our values rising and I’m here for it.

Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Connect with me on socials @oumouhaidara_ on TikTok and IG. Follow, like and share!